Keeping the excitement alive

Dr. James Dobson wrote, “Which of the following couples is more likely to enjoy the greatest physical attraction in the marriage? The couple that spends every waking hour together and focuses almost exclusively on one another, or the man and woman who have other interests and then, after some time of independence, come closer together again as the pendulum swings? Surprisingly, it’s the one that varies from time to time. According to behavioral researchers, the healthiest marriages and those with the highest sexual voltage are those that breathe—relationships that move from a time of closeness and tenderness to a more distant posture, and then come together for another reunion as the cycle concludes. This is why it’s not always advantageous for a husband and wife to work together or to concentrate exclusively on one another in the absence of friends and colleagues outside the family. There is something about the diversity of interests and activities by each partner that keeps the couple from consuming one another and burning out the relationship in the short run. Marriage is, after all, a marathon and not a sprint. Husbands and wives need to maintain a regenerating system that will keep love alive for a lifetime. Cultivating a healthy interest in many things is one big step in that direction.” How do you do this? (1) By sharing without smothering. (2) By being so secure in your love that you trust one another. (3) By recognizing that your partner’s personal growth requires some elements you cannot personally provide and being okay with that.