Turning two families into one

Due to the divorce rate today, both inside the church and outside, divorced men and women fall in love again and face the challenges of blending two families into one. Here are some of those challenges: visiting rights, custodial care, court intervention, and ex-in-law involvement. Add to that a mountain of paperwork and legal specifications, and it’s like negotiating an international peace treaty. You chose to marry your new spouse, but your children didn’t get that choice. So it’s not enough to bring them all together under the same roof and say, “Play nice.” Their world has been turned upside down, and you must allow them time to digest the situation and find their place in the new order of things. “Love will solve all our problems” is a nice sentiment, but it’s not true. You say, “But the Bible says, ‘Love never fails’” (1 Corinthians 13:8 NKJV). Yes, and it also says, “Love suffers long and is kind” (v. 4 NKJV). You’re going to need truckloads of patience and kindness to make this work. So: (1) Prepare yourself and your children for the changes that are about to take place. (2) Listen to your child’s fears without saying, “Don’t be silly, everything will be okay.” For as long as they need to talk, that’s how long you need to listen. (3) Pray, pray, pray! Ask God to give you His plan, so that this merger can be as painless and stress-free as possible. Your new mate may meet your personal needs for love and security – but remember that your children have those same needs too.