Fathers and the empty nest

When we hear the phrase “empty nest,” we often think of mothers going through pain and depression as their children move away. But research shows that fathers feel the pain as well – in many cases more intensely than their wives. The movie Father of the Bride is hilarious. But it’s also a touching tribute to the love of a father for his daughter. When George, the dad, sits across from his daughter at the dinner table and learns that she’s engaged, he takes the news hard. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. He has to clear his vision because he sees her as his baby girl, then as the tomboy of eight or ten years, and finally as a beautiful young woman of twenty-one. His little girl has grown up, and she’s leaving him. He will never again be the main man in the life of this baby, this little girl, or this beautiful young adult. A part of his life is over, and there’s grieving to be done. George’s experience is not so unusual. A study asked 400 parents of college freshmen to report their feelings when their son or daughter left home. Surprisingly to some, the fathers took it harder than the mothers. Why? One of the chief explanations was regret. These fathers had been so busy, working so hard, that they suddenly realized it was too late to build relationships with their grown children. So if you still have teenagers at home, make a decision to regularly enjoy your remaining time with them. Those days will be gone in the blink of an eye.