Focus on the solution not the problem

As problems arise in your relationships, you’ll be forced to become a translator, negotiator, diplomat, and peacekeeper. And good communication skills are essential. Nothing is more frustrating than being misunderstood, misheard, ignored, or misconstrued. But talking isn’t always the answer. Sometimes it empowers the problem. Our mistake is we often give too much verbiage to the issue; in other words, we talk about it when we should be quiet and focus on a solution. God has given you the gifts you need to change the situation. Don’t talk about it; instead, do it! If we misuse words or talk out of hand, it can lead us away from a solution we would otherwise see. James tells us that what we say has immense power for destruction. “The tongue…a little member…boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth” (James 3:5). Just our tone of voice can escalate a conversation into a raging fire! Don’t be the person with flames coming out of your mouth. Tame your tongue. Grab hold of the situation when it arises and bring light and life to it! Our conversations are to be seasoned with grace (see Colossians 4:6). Speak positively, because God is still on the throne and He has a plan. Responding appropriately often requires quietness, then careful reflection. And sometimes it’s better just to remain quiet. When you’re anxious, chances are you’ll overtalk. When you’re angry, you’ll make the situation worse. And when you’re too aggressive, you’ll lose instead of winning. The Bible says, “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” And that’s a scriptural principle that always works.