Love them for who they are

The words of a popular song go, “I love you for a hundred thousand reasons, but most of all I love you ’cause you’re you.” There’s great truth in that song, particularly when it comes to children. A Christian psychologist wrote, “When the birth of a first child is imminent, the parents pray that he will be normal—that is, average. But from that moment on, average will not be good enough for them. Their child must excel. He must succeed. He must triumph. He must be the first of his age to walk or talk or ride a tricycle. He must earn a stunning report card and amaze his teachers with his wit and wisdom. He must star in little league and later be quarterback or senior class president. His sister must be the cheerleader or soloist or the homecoming queen. Throughout the formative years, some parents give their children the same message day after day: ‘We’re counting on you to do something fantastic. Don’t disappoint us.’ Unfortunately, exceptional children are just that—exceptions. Seldom does a five-year-old memorize the King James Bible or play chess blindfolded or compose symphonies. The vast majority of our children are not dazzlingly brilliant. They’re just plain kids, with an oversized need to be loved and accepted as they are. Most parents have average kids. To expect more sets the stage for considerable disappointment for parents, and puts unrealistic pressure on the younger generation.” Now let’s recall the song: “Most of all I love you ’cause you’re you.” If you take that message to heart, one day your children will rise up and call you “blessed” (see Proverbs 31:28).