When The Family Shatters

When divorce shatters your family, how can you help your children? First, stop talking about who doesn’t accept them and surround them with people who do. As a parent, your love can go a long way toward compensating for another’s neglect. Explain that sometimes people grow together, other times they grow apart. Remind them that “Ken” and “Barbie” are just dolls, and prepare them to live in the real world. Encourage them to be strong, not self-pitying. As they get older, teach them that if they meet someone they have to change in order to love, they haven’t met the right person. When love is right, it can live with strengths and weaknesses under the same roof, because “love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV). Real love covers a mistake like an insurance policy covers a driver in an accident. Don’t use your child as a weapon to get back at one another. Be sure they understand that you are the one who got divorced, not them. Explain that someone can be unsuited as a companion but still be a good parent. When you take away the blame, you take away the shame and everybody can move forward. Bitterness is a thief, but you don’t have to let it steal your peace, your creativity, your song, or your hope for a better future. Remember, that was then—this is now. There must be a “now” for you and your children, so let it begin today. God’s promise is “I am about to do something new” (Isaiah 43:19 NLT). So you can start over and rebuild.