Commit to the relationship (3)

For a relationship to succeed, both parties must be totally committed to it. Today let’s look at some more of the reasons why we may be afraid to commit. (1) Consider whether you have real feelings for your partner or whether you are biding your time until somebody better comes along. In other words, be honest with yourself because your happiness depends on it. (2) Talk about your specific fears with your partner. One writer offers these: “I’m afraid you will try to change me”; “I’ll feel emasculated if you don’t submit to me”; “If the marriage fails, you may take my money and leave me impoverished”; “You may restrict too much of my time with the boys”; “You may require too much of my attention.” You must honestly share your feelings and request feedback to your concerns. (3) Try a thirty-day interval of “no contact” with your romantic interest and find out how life would feel without him or her. Some noncommitted relationships are merely for convenience, so assess your feelings apart from the inconvenience you will endure. Convenience is a weak foundation for a marriage. (4) Re-examine your expectations. Don’t expect your partner to fulfill every facet of your life. For example, if you have a need for high adventure that’s manifested in bungee jumping, find friends to enjoy it with, and be happy that your partner is faithful, loving, and laughs a lot. And one more thought: there is an emptiness within each of us that only God can fill. And when He does, we require less from our partner and learn how to become a better partner.