When Christmas Feels Heavy

A Gentle Message of Hope and Healing

The Christmas season is often painted as joyful and bright, but for many, it carries a much heavier weight. While some celebrate with full hearts and busy homes, others are quietly walking through grief, loneliness, or uncertainty. Difficult seasons don’t pause for the holidays. In fact, Christmas can sometimes magnify feelings of sadness, sorrow, or isolation.

For some, these emotions are tied to family loss, illness, or broken relationships. For others, they surface more subtly through self-doubt, comparison, and the quiet belief that we’re somehow falling behind.

Late one night, while doom scrolling on social media, I came across a quote that made me stop and think:

“Don’t chase what you want. Keep upgrading yourself until what you want starts chasing you.”

It sounds empowering, doesn’t it? But it also raises an important question: can self-doubt turn into self-sabotage? The answer, often, is yes. One way this shows up is through perfectionism. When we set the bar so high for ourselves that it becomes impossible to reach. The result?  We don’t start at all. Procrastination takes over, and soon we’re trapped in cycles of comparison where we watch others’ highlight reels and feel like we never measure up.

Scripture gently speaks into this struggle. James 1:5–6 (NIV) reminds us:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed.”

When we begin to feel this way, it’s easy to slip into desperation—chasing after what we believe we’re missing. That desperation is rooted in a sense of lack, and lack has a way of draining us rather than moving us forward. Love, on the other hand, is what truly carries us through.

Scripture reminds us of this so beautifully. In 1 Corinthians 13:4, we are told that love is patient and kind—never envious or boastful, never proud, and always enduring. These words guide us toward Christ-like love in our relationships, but they also invite us to extend that same grace inward.

 "Growth rooted in love, not pressure, creates lasting change."

God calls us to soften our hearts and show kindness to others, yet He also invites us to be gentle with ourselves. Humility and patience aren’t meant only for seasons of hardship—they are daily practices. Growth doesn’t have to happen all at once. It unfolds slowly, one small step at a time. And before we know it, our hearts begin to grow—perhaps even three sizes—much like the Grinch learned they could.

Themes for Growth

One way forward is learning to trust ourselves to grow and change, rather than living from a constant feeling of being behind. This is where that quote comes back to mind: “Keep upgrading yourself until what you want starts chasing you.” Growth rooted in love, not pressure, creates lasting change.

Scripture reassures us of the strength we carry within. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, NIV). Each time we choose trust over fear, we build that inner strength.

And in Romans 12:2 (NIV), we’re reminded not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed through the renewing of our minds. As we do, clarity comes, and so does peace—knowing that God will provide exactly what is meant for us, in His perfect time.

Christmas reminds us that light often enters the world softly, in stillness and humility, not in grand displays.

Emotional Wellness

If this season feels heavy for you, know that you are not alone—and you are not falling behind. God sees the quiet work happening in your heart, even on the days when it feels slow or unseen. Christmas reminds us that light often enters the world softly, in stillness and humility, not in grand displays.

Give yourself permission to rest, to breathe, and to take things one day at a time. Trust that love is doing its work in you, even now. And as you move forward, may you feel wrapped in grace, carried by hope, and gently reminded that what is meant for you will meet you right where you are.